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I was randomly searching for my family on Google today. This isn't the first time I've done this, but it's the first time I've gotten results!
Although I was very close to my maternal grandfather (Thatha, aka Dr Asirdas), I didn't really know much about what he did for a living, other than that he was a psychiatrist (and a pretty good one at that!). My grandma is also a psychiatrist, but she got one up on my grandad and got a PhD.
I then found two entries in BMJ Issues around 1977 which both had Thatha's name in them. I also found a research paper written by my grandma on (get this!)
"The behavioural treatment of sexual inadequacy."
Wow. Not sure I want to read that..
But FAR FAR cooler than that: a NEWSPAPER CLIPPING!
Published on page 8 of The Strait Times, on 14th September 1962, is an article about MY grandad.
AND.. he's involved in criminal psychology. Wow.
(N.B. Not the full text.)After reading this over and over again, savoring every word and every detail, after getting over the initial excitement at seeing my grandfather's name, I began to think.
I really wish I had gotten to talk to my Thatha a lot more.
I was only 15 when he died, and I don't think I was able to fully appreciate what an amazing man he was.
From what I remember, he was always laughing, always cracking jokes with us, always wanting to love his grandchildren.
He doted on us any chance that he could.
On weekend sleepovers with the cousins, we would always make the infamous trips to Marsh's, to say hi to "Mr Marsh", and Woolworth's, to buy £5 worth of Pic'n'mix each (although he'd always let us go over!). He loved taking us to the park, and would play with us for hours whilst Amachi would be at home making her special noodles. And Thatha would always have one Mars Ice Cream pack and Magnum pack stocked in his freezer whenever we came over, because there were 6 ice creams in each pack, and 5 cousins to fight over them.
He would always make sure that he had at least one episode of "Muppets Tonight" taped for us, when we were snuggled up in our blankets in the living room, ready to go to sleep. And in the morning, he would be the first one up, ready to help us make some Bombay Toast, or to pretend he hadn't seen when we ran off to play Sonic on the good old fashioned Sega.
He was one of the funniest men I have ever met: his wit, his jokes were second to none.
I loved spending time with Thatha because he made me feel so happy: I could never be upset when I was around him.
He was the most caring man I think I will ever meet: his gentle nature but firm disposition meant he was very popular with everyone he meant.
Though I had many memorable times with him, I cannot erase the most recent painful memories from my mind.
I cannot even begin to describe the anguish and pain you feel when a loved one loses their memories, and control of their body.
How could a man so dear to my heart not remember who I was?
How could a man I respected and looked up to so much, be in such a state of turmoil in his mind?
I couldn't understand how it was possible that this could happen to someone so kind and loving: someone who definitely did not deserve to end his life in this way.
I guess we'll never really understand why some events unfold the way they do.
Thatha, wherever you are, I hope you're looking down on me now, and I hope you're proud of the young woman I've grown up to be.
I think about you so much, and I miss your presence in our lives.
You would always light up the room when you came in: a phrase not said about many.
I feel so blessed to have been in your life; to have been impacted by you.
I love you.
Always.
He has a face of light
And is the calm within the depth of any storm.
Gentle stranger, earth angel
without ego or expectation
Only dreams and hope for those he loves
and he loves many....
But many more love and adore him.
When our hope is lost, it is his smile,
his indifference to all fear and chaos
that opens each of us to the greatest love of all.
His love and legacy teaches us only what we should give,
not what we can take.
His inner grace is our light in the dark,
His flame is eternal.
R.I.P.
