About Me

Anjana.X

Med Student at Imperial College. Living in London: the most amazing city in the world. Christian and proud. Loves music with a passion. Adores the camera. Eats way too much. Fake tans occasionally.

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Where Sea Meets Sky

Take Me Back...
Archives
▼ 2012 (3)

▼ April (3)

Come take a walk on the wild side...

La Notte

Year 3 MBBS BSc

► 2011 (9)

► April (1)

► March (8)

► 2010 (34)

► December (4)

► November (1)

► August (1)

► July (1)

► May (17)

► April (9)

► January (1)

► 2009 (8)

► July (1)

► June (3)

► May (4)
Stats.

Come take a walk on the wild side...

Wednesday, April 25, 2012 | Labels: Born to Die, Lana Del Rey

Lana Del Rey is just a little bit beautiful, just a little bit sensual, and MY GOODNESS she has an amazing voice.

As well as that '80s covergirl' appeal, her voice is soothingly alluring, and very similar to that of Nancy Sinatra. Really loving "Video Games" and "Born to Die" right now. Have a listen to both, and while you're there, have a listen to the rest of her album (Also called Born to Die). Just amazing!

Looking forward to hearing more from this incredibly talented woman.

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La Notte

Friday, April 20, 2012 | Labels: Friendship, Laughter, Love

“If conversation was the lyrics, laughter was the music, making time spent together a melody that could be replayed over and over without getting stale.”

-Nicholas Spark

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Year 3 MBBS BSc

Thursday, April 19, 2012 | Labels: Medical School, Medical Student, Medicine

Ladies and Gentlemen, First Blog Post Of 2012!

Oops.

Once again it's back to that time of year: Exams. Revision. No life outside of Medicine! I always seem to remember I have a blog at this point of time.

At the end of this academic year, if all goes well and as planned, I will actually be half a doctor. Scary thought!

Third Year of Medical School has definitely been the best so far.

Having learnt about the science behind medicine and medical conditions for the last two years, putting this into practise has been an incredible experience.
Having had three different medical and surgical placements at three different hospitals over the course of this year, I've learnt how to diagnose patients; I've learnt how to interpret ECGs & X Rays; I've learnt signs, symptoms, causes, investigations and management for over eighty different disorders/conditions!!
I've seen how important empathy and the doctor-patient relationship can really be; I've learnt that relationships and emotional well-being have a massive impact on a patient's recovery; I've witnessed how so many people turn to God in their time of need.
I've seen patients cry, I've seen patients laugh, I've luckily not yet seen a patient die.
I've seen children with appendicitis; I've examined adults with Waldenstrom's Macroglobulinaemia. I've been up till early hours of the morning in A&E; I've assisted in emergency surgical procedures. I've fallen asleep in clinics after sleepless nights; I've finished bedside teaching on a Friday evening at 8pm. I've ventilated unconscious surgical patients, I've cannulated conscious ones. (and had to recannulate - fail)
I've been taught by world-renowned professors; I've been taught by junior doctors. I've even been taught by patients...

What third year has taught me is truly invaluable.

With only five weeks left to go, I can say that I'm going to be quite sad to see this year finish so soon.

The only real positive about finishing a clinical year, and moving on to a BSc, is that I can finally wear nail polish again.

:)

'Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or to lose.'

-Lyndon B. Johnson

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Don't Give Up.

Monday, April 04, 2011 | Labels: Perseverance

Au milieu de l'hiver, j'ai découvert en moi un invincible été..

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me, there lay an invincible summer...

-Albert Camus

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Dreams

Tuesday, March 22, 2011 |

“Hold fast to dreams,

For if dreams die,

Life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly,

Hold fast to dreams,

For if dreams go,

Life is a barren field,

Frozen with snow.”

-Langston Hughes, American Poet

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Eeeeesh!

Sunday, March 20, 2011 |

All my life I've been good, but now,

I'm thinking WHAT THE HELL?

(I can't get this damn song out of my head)

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My Heart Is Where My Treasure Lies..

Friday, March 18, 2011 |

“You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.”

-Psalm 30:11-12

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Trust: Science or Emotion?

Tuesday, March 15, 2011 | Labels: Oxytocin, Relationships, Trust

Being a Medical Student, I do get to learn about some pretty interesting things. Whilst studying Endocrinology today, for example, I was amazed to learn that the 'mechanisms' behind trust can be explained by.....a hormone?

Oxytocin is a hormone made in a region of our brain called the hypothalamus. It is mainly involved in pregnancy, causing contraction of the uterus and milk ejection from the mammary glands. However, it has also been labelled as "the hormone of love, generosity & well-being".

Why so? Well - Oxytocin is released at several points in our lives. The main one obviously being during labour and giving birth. Oxytocin release in the brain at this point in time helps to promote a parent-offspring bond in certain mammalian species.. Including humans.

Yes, it's incredible, but prepare yourself for an even bigger shock... Oxytocin is also a key factor in love & marriage. According to my Endocrinology notes (I kid you not!), when female mammals orgasm during intercourse, the brain releases Oxytocin - this is responsible for the 'binding connection' that women feel with their partner, and explains why women get so 'emotionally involved' when sex is involved, and also why men seem to be much more 'detached'. I guess you can't get too angry at men now, since who can blame them for their chemical make-up..?
But again, Oxytocin actually promotes monogamous bonds in certain mammalian species.. again, including humans!

How amazing is that?

That the intense bonds between child and parent, between husband and wife, between friend and friend - can all be explained by one little hormone. With a cute name too - just say Oxytocin out loud - doesn't it make you go aww?

Walter Anderson once said:
“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy”

We have no idea how true that is!

But then, this got me to thinking - Trust is an extremely valuable entity. Once broken, it is very, very hard to rebuild again.
Imagine Trust to be a beautiful, delicate transparent glass vase. It can be seen by others to be without tarnish. To be perfect.

But then one day, the vase breaks.
Someone drops it accidentally, or even on purpose. It shatters into a hundred tiny pieces.
Instantly, the structure has been broken - the delicacy has been broken - the beauty has gone.
No matter how well you put the pieces back together, the cracks will always be visible. The beauty has gone, and the transparency ruined by the glue. The vase will probably never be nearly as strong as it was before breaking.

Trust is like the vase - in the sense that it is a very precious commodity between two people. Something that those two individuals alone share - something that is unique to every couple in this world. Honesty and Sincerity are the key to the strong structure of the 'vase'.

But when Honesty hides, and Sincerity shatters - what then?

Can the ultimate betrayal be forgiven by just a 'surge of Oxytocin'?

Can Science be the key to rebuilding a beautiful vase again? Can Science even be worthy of being a factor in overcoming the most gut-wrenching, anguishing pains of the heart?

Personally - I believe no amount of Science can ever explain how people can forgive and forget. Whether easily, or whether it takes several years to be able to move on from the hurt - this is definitely something that cannot be explained by hormone release.

I believe the character of a person explains how accommodating they can be. It takes real strength - real determination & drive - to be able to forgive a terrible wrong. Trust can take years and years to be rebuilt - as Friedrich Nietzsche once said: “I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you”.

Once you see through a person's lies, you instantly begin to think and rethink over everything that has been said to you up to this point - was any of it true..? How much of it was fabricated..?

And the most painful question of all... Why..?

Trust is the most precious thing that two people in a relationship can share.
Be careful with it.

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Travelling down the love lane..

Sunday, March 13, 2011 | Labels: Love

'Hum Hain Raahi Pyar Ke, Phir Milenge Chalte Chalte...'

-Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi

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Oh Heart.

Saturday, March 12, 2011 | Labels: Heart vs. Brain

Oh heart.
Foolish, naive heart.

For the times - and there were many - that you have lead me down the wrong path.

For the times you believed that all the hurt, the pain & the suffering was worth it.

Thank you brain.

For constantly being the voice of reason to a stubborn and naive individual.

For realising that actually, I should respect myself that much more.

For realising that I am something worthwhile.

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Sunday Secrets...

Sunday, March 06, 2011 | Labels: Sunday Secrets

Note: I do not own the copyrights to this image - I am merely reposting it as this is something that resonates with me.

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Paris, je t'aime

Sunday, March 06, 2011 | Labels: Natalie Portman, Paris je t'aime

One of the most beautiful short films I have seen.

'Paris, je t'aime' is a 2 hour length film into which 18 short movies are integrated. Each short movie represents one of the arrondissements - one of the 'districts' - of Paris.

This particular story takes place in Faubourg St Denis, and features Natalie Portman and Melchior Beslon.

"After mistakenly believing that his girlfriend, a struggling actress, has broken up with him, a young blind man reflects on the growth and seeming decline of their relationship."

I don't want to say any more. Just watch it. :)

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Still I Rise.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010 | Labels: Inspirational, Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou has to be one of my favourite poets.

The majority of her poems reflect the struggles faced by young Afro-Carribean women in a time of oppression and racism.

I particularly like this poem of hers, 'Still I Rise': I'm moving on with my life! :)

You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may trod me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?

Why are you beset with gloom?

'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells

Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops.

Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?

Don't you take it awful hard

'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines

Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I've got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame

I rise

Up from a past that's rooted in pain

I rise

I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise

I rise

I rise.

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19/12

Sunday, December 19, 2010 | Labels: Family, Love, Relationships

Oh heart.

If one should say to you that the soul perishes like the body,

Answer that the flower withers, but the seed remains.

I miss you.

There isn't a week that goes by when I don't think of you.

I love you so much. Always have, always will.

R.I.P

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Perfect Nightmare

Friday, December 17, 2010 |

Wallowing in the past may be good literature.

As wisdom, it's hopeless.

Time Regained is Paradise Lost, and Time Lost is Paradise Regained.
Let the dead bury their dead.

If you want to live at every moment as it presents itself, you've got to die to every other moment.

-Aldous Huxley (The Genius and The Goddess)

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In The End

Sunday, December 05, 2010 |

In the end what matters most is
How well did you love
How well did you live
How well did you learn to let go.

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Next.

Sunday, November 28, 2010 | Labels: Letting Go, Moving On

See it's not that you ain't fine.
It's just that I ain't interested.
Yep you guessed it I'm the result of a love that never lasted cause lust was always present.

I was hoping by the way I dressed and ignored your previous attempts that it would be evident that sweet talk leaves a sour taste in my mouth and there's no substance behind the shallowness of your arrogance.

Yo-Coach gives me the impression that you think I would find it a privilege that you extended a compliment my way.

All I can say is your affirmations or confirmation's not revelations that I'm the one to be pursued--brother I thought you knew.

Yeah you're fine but good looks and tight gear won't get my time nearly as fast as a man who's got enough insight to see beyond my Coke-bottle figure and enough vision to make me believe without “priority's” not a bed buddy but a soulmate.

Time's a tickin I have no more to waste on little boys or Usher-like confessions.

But that Mac-daddy garbage you just recited: you're my carnal curse not a spiritual blessing.

Fine men before your time taught me this lesson and now I'm the one teaching you how to treat me and those young girls who are following unknown that a fine man makes them no less beautiful or deserving of
Better
More
God's best
No less

I'm sorry about this for sounding rude

Next

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Mistakes. (Success Tip #90)

Monday, August 02, 2010 |

Long ago, in a distant land, there lived two sculptors named Seb and Matthias. One day they each received a Royal proclamation inviting them to take part in a sculpting competition to be held at the Royal Gardens.

Both Seb and Matthias were extremely excited by this opportunity and immediately started preparing for the seven day journey.

Seb set out on a bright Monday morning with his chisels and hammers packed in the back of his horse-drawn cart. At the end of his first day of traveling, he made camp in a clearing by the side of the road. After a simple meal, Seb noticed a large rock on the edge of the clearing and decided to get in some practice for the upcoming sculpting competition.

He took out his tools and began to chisel away at the rock. Several hours later, Seb stood back to look at his sculpture. It was a statue of the Princess Rebecca, but while he was reasonably happy with his attempt, Seb realized that the statue’s hands were too big. He made a mental note to be careful of this in the future and went to sleep.

The next morning, Seb continued on his way leaving his statue of Princess Rebecca by the side of the clearing. At the end of his second day, Seb found another rock to practice on and created another sculpture of the Princess. This time he got her hands right but made her legs too short. He made a mental note on how to improve next time and moved on.

Seb continued this pattern throughout his journey. Each night he found a rock to practice on, created a sculpture of Princess Rebecca, made note on how he could improve and then moved on the following morning leaving the sculpture where he created it.

By the time Seb reached the Royal Gardens he had made seven practice sculptures that were each a little bit better than the one before. On the day of the competition, Seb created his best sculpture ever and to his delight, he was awarded the coveted ‘Golden Hammer’ award which was presented by Princess Rebecca herself.

Now you may be wondering what happened to the other sculptor, Matthias, so let me tell you his side of the story…

Matthias also set out on the seven day journey to the Royal Gardens to compete in the sculpting competition. Like Seb, Matthias made camp on the first night and found a large rock to practice on. He too created a statue of the Princess Rebecca but found that he made her feet too big. Matthias was angry at himself for making this mistake and the next morning he heaved the statue onto the back of his cart so that he could study his mistake later.

At the end of his second day of traveling, Matthias found another rock to practice on and created another statue. This time he forgot to include the princesses head dress and he became furious at his mistake. The next morning, he heaved the statue onto the back of his cart and continued slowly on his journey.

Each night Matthias repeated this same pattern. He created a statue, became angry with himself when he made a mistake and then loaded the statue onto his cart before moving on.

On the seventh day, Matthias woke up early and prepared for the final leg of his journey, but when he prompted his horse to get underway, the poor animal strained at his harness but could not move an inch. Matthias jumped down from his seat and went to the back of his cart.

There he found all seven practice statues of the Princess Rebecca which were weighing the cart down and making it impossible to move. Matthias complained bitterly as he looked over the statues in detail – too big, too short, too tall…the list of mistakes went on and on. The unhappy sculptor sat down on a tree stump and continued to stare at his statues for hours, and as a result, he never made it to the Royal Gardens to compete in the competition.

This simple story illustrates an important lesson that can often be the difference between success and failure. The statues in the story represent the mistakes that we all make in life. The difference between Seb and Matthias was the way in which they responded to their mistakes.

When Seb made a practice statue he made a mental note of any problems and then he left his mistake where he made it and continued on his journey. As a result, he gradually developed his skills and eventually achieved his ultimate objective.

Matthias on the other hand approached his mistakes in a different fashion. Each time he made a statue, he loaded it onto his cart and took it with him. Each day his cart became heavier and heavier until eventually it would not move at all. Instead of leaving his mistakes where he made them, Matthias carried the weight of his mistakes with him and the weight of these past mistakes eventually prevented him from reaching his real objectiv

On your journey to success, understand that you too will make mistakes. Some small, some big. Each time you make a mistake you have a choice. You can either learn from your mistake and move on like Seb, or you can carry your mistake with you like Matthias.

The danger in harboring regret and continually analyzing your past mistakes is that, like Matthias, you can eventually get stuck and can jeopardize the achievements that are waiting for you in your future.

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Listen..

Wednesday, July 14, 2010 |

God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.
-C S Lewis

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The Most Wonderful Man In The World

Wednesday, May 26, 2010 |

I was randomly searching for my family on Google today. This isn't the first time I've done this, but it's the first time I've gotten results!

Although I was very close to my maternal grandfather (Thatha, aka Dr Asirdas), I didn't really know much about what he did for a living, other than that he was a psychiatrist (and a pretty good one at that!). My grandma is also a psychiatrist, but she got one up on my grandad and got a PhD.

I found an article my mother had written, published in the BMJ in 1981.

I then found two entries in BMJ Issues around 1977 which both had Thatha's name in them. I also found a research paper written by my grandma on (get this!)

"The behavioural treatment of sexual inadequacy."

Wow. Not sure I want to read that..

But FAR FAR cooler than that: a NEWSPAPER CLIPPING!

Published on page 8 of The Strait Times, on 14th September 1962, is an article about MY grandad.

AND.. he's involved in criminal psychology. Wow.

(N.B. Not the full text.)

After reading this over and over again, savoring every word and every detail, after getting over the initial excitement at seeing my grandfather's name, I began to think.

I really wish I had gotten to talk to my Thatha a lot more.

I was only 15 when he died, and I don't think I was able to fully appreciate what an amazing man he was.

From what I remember, he was always laughing, always cracking jokes with us, always wanting to love his grandchildren.

He doted on us any chance that he could.

On weekend sleepovers with the cousins, we would always make the infamous trips to Marsh's, to say hi to "Mr Marsh", and Woolworth's, to buy £5 worth of Pic'n'mix each (although he'd always let us go over!). He loved taking us to the park, and would play with us for hours whilst Amachi would be at home making her special noodles. And Thatha would always have one Mars Ice Cream pack and Magnum pack stocked in his freezer whenever we came over, because there were 6 ice creams in each pack, and 5 cousins to fight over them.

He would always make sure that he had at least one episode of "Muppets Tonight" taped for us, when we were snuggled up in our blankets in the living room, ready to go to sleep. And in the morning, he would be the first one up, ready to help us make some Bombay Toast, or to pretend he hadn't seen when we ran off to play Sonic on the good old fashioned Sega.

He was one of the funniest men I have ever met: his wit, his jokes were second to none.

I loved spending time with Thatha because he made me feel so happy: I could never be upset when I was around him.

He was the most caring man I think I will ever meet: his gentle nature but firm disposition meant he was very popular with everyone he meant.

Though I had many memorable times with him, I cannot erase the most recent painful memories from my mind.

I cannot even begin to describe the anguish and pain you feel when a loved one loses their memories, and control of their body.

How could a man so dear to my heart not remember who I was?

How could a man I respected and looked up to so much, be in such a state of turmoil in his mind?

I couldn't understand how it was possible that this could happen to someone so kind and loving: someone who definitely did not deserve to end his life in this way.

I guess we'll never really understand why some events unfold the way they do.

Thatha, wherever you are, I hope you're looking down on me now, and I hope you're proud of the young woman I've grown up to be.

I think about you so much, and I miss your presence in our lives.

You would always light up the room when you came in: a phrase not said about many.

I feel so blessed to have been in your life; to have been impacted by you.

I love you.

Always.

He has a face of light

And is the calm within the depth of any storm.

Gentle stranger, earth angel

without ego or expectation

Only dreams and hope for those he loves

and he loves many....

But many more love and adore him.

When our hope is lost, it is his smile,

his indifference to all fear and chaos

that opens each of us to the greatest love of all.

His love and legacy teaches us only what we should give,

not what we can take.

His inner grace is our light in the dark,

His flame is eternal.

R.I.P.

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