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One of my good friends sent this in an email to me today. I thought it was quite interesting... Take a look for yourself.
So it starts off with the phrase "You know you've got Desi parents when..." (for those of you non-indians out there, just take it as indian.). Then, there's a whole list of reasons..:
1. You can't go out without telling them where you are going and with whom and when you'll be back & who's driving
2. They call you 24/7 and if you don't pick up the phone, they'll leave you TONS of voice mails
3. If you are a girl and don't know how to cook, then you're going down the drain and no one will marry you
4. The only way your life will get better is if you get MARRIED
5. Your mom is very nosy
6. Your parents don't know what the word "privacy" means; it will NEVER exist in their dictionary
7. If you are a couple of minutes late coming home, they'll call you tons of times!
8. If you don't become a doctor, engineer, pharmacist then you're a failure
9. If you make anything less than an A grade then you are a failure as well
10. If you pick your own spouse, then you've committed a horrible mistake
11. Parents care about what the society thinks more than your feelings
12. If you are a girl, you can't be yourself because some aunty is always on a look-out for a girl to become her son's wife
13. Your friends have to be approved by your parents
14. When you hear that their experience has made them way more knowledgeable than you..."mujhe tum se zyaada pata hai!!!" every time you do something wrong!
15. You spend too much money when you haven’t shopped for an entire month.
16. You spend way too much time with your friends (and the last time you saw them was at school...between classes)
17. Anything you do...just isn’t right...forget it...might as well go bury yourself
18. They think they have the best kids when you wear shalwar kameez to school (kids, don’t try this...you will officially be labelled a FOB...good for parents, bad for society)
19. If you date/marry anyone outside the desi culture...you're going to hell
20. You are asked to eat something every half an hour. You may eat like a pig, yet they never seem to think you eat enough!
21. You get cussed more than u get told they love you
22. You learn that racism has a whole new meaning because they're racist against their own kind..."mein tu abne betay ke liye gori bahu laon gi!"
23. When they automatically somehow magically know if you're talking to a girl on a phone.
24. Dark skinned girls are pressured to put on 'fair and lovely' to get lighter!!
25. Girls: your parents start looking for "ache larke" when you’re still in high school!
26. Your parents want more than 100 %. And when you get 105 %, they STILL expect you to do better.
27. If you’re a girl...guys and girls can’t just be friends...you’re not allowed to talk to guys
28. Your parents always wanted to buy your clothes a larger size just so you could use it till you DIE
29. They have lil desi kids who can’t keep their trap shut who help the parents let us not live our life the way we want even more
30. You go to India they tie a rope around your suitcase...
31. You make chai for you parents at least 3 times a day!
32. They always make you go places wit them or make u talk to people you don’t want to so you can be friends with them because they are "good kids"
33. They always ask who you were with there names and how old they are and if the person is driving they have to see them first
34. Girls can’t wear revealing clothes unless it’s Indian clothing
35. Girls have to make sure they clear the table and be all nokhrani when guests are over
36. They call you up every 20 minutes when you're with your friends to ask you what you've eaten
37. Your mom calls you fat one day and the next day she makes you eat till you explode
38. They brag about you to all their Indian friends, then turn around and tell you what is wrong with you
39. You know you have desi parents when vacation means going to relatives’ houses in different cities
40. They always want to know what you’re doing on the computer
41. Your parents wont buy you stuff unless it’s at least 40% off
2. They call you 24/7 and if you don't pick up the phone, they'll leave you TONS of voice mails
3. If you are a girl and don't know how to cook, then you're going down the drain and no one will marry you
4. The only way your life will get better is if you get MARRIED
5. Your mom is very nosy
6. Your parents don't know what the word "privacy" means; it will NEVER exist in their dictionary
7. If you are a couple of minutes late coming home, they'll call you tons of times!
8. If you don't become a doctor, engineer, pharmacist then you're a failure
9. If you make anything less than an A grade then you are a failure as well
10. If you pick your own spouse, then you've committed a horrible mistake
11. Parents care about what the society thinks more than your feelings
12. If you are a girl, you can't be yourself because some aunty is always on a look-out for a girl to become her son's wife
13. Your friends have to be approved by your parents
14. When you hear that their experience has made them way more knowledgeable than you..."mujhe tum se zyaada pata hai!!!" every time you do something wrong!
15. You spend too much money when you haven’t shopped for an entire month.
16. You spend way too much time with your friends (and the last time you saw them was at school...between classes)
17. Anything you do...just isn’t right...forget it...might as well go bury yourself
18. They think they have the best kids when you wear shalwar kameez to school (kids, don’t try this...you will officially be labelled a FOB...good for parents, bad for society)
19. If you date/marry anyone outside the desi culture...you're going to hell
20. You are asked to eat something every half an hour. You may eat like a pig, yet they never seem to think you eat enough!
21. You get cussed more than u get told they love you
22. You learn that racism has a whole new meaning because they're racist against their own kind..."mein tu abne betay ke liye gori bahu laon gi!"
23. When they automatically somehow magically know if you're talking to a girl on a phone.
24. Dark skinned girls are pressured to put on 'fair and lovely' to get lighter!!
25. Girls: your parents start looking for "ache larke" when you’re still in high school!
26. Your parents want more than 100 %. And when you get 105 %, they STILL expect you to do better.
27. If you’re a girl...guys and girls can’t just be friends...you’re not allowed to talk to guys
28. Your parents always wanted to buy your clothes a larger size just so you could use it till you DIE
29. They have lil desi kids who can’t keep their trap shut who help the parents let us not live our life the way we want even more
30. You go to India they tie a rope around your suitcase...
31. You make chai for you parents at least 3 times a day!
32. They always make you go places wit them or make u talk to people you don’t want to so you can be friends with them because they are "good kids"
33. They always ask who you were with there names and how old they are and if the person is driving they have to see them first
34. Girls can’t wear revealing clothes unless it’s Indian clothing
35. Girls have to make sure they clear the table and be all nokhrani when guests are over
36. They call you up every 20 minutes when you're with your friends to ask you what you've eaten
37. Your mom calls you fat one day and the next day she makes you eat till you explode
38. They brag about you to all their Indian friends, then turn around and tell you what is wrong with you
39. You know you have desi parents when vacation means going to relatives’ houses in different cities
40. They always want to know what you’re doing on the computer
41. Your parents wont buy you stuff unless it’s at least 40% off
Looking through that list, I can see about... 22 things which apply to me. Now considering I am probably one of the most ignorant people about my culture (i.e. I can't speak much Hindi, Punjabi or Tamil, I hardly ever watch Bollywood/Indian movies, I hardly ever listen to Indian music, the last time I went to India was when I was two years old....), its pretty ironic that this email could still apply to me. Although, I guess not, seeing as my parents were both brought up in India/Africa/Malaysia/wherever else thats not England... But hey.
It's weird that I have...this... in common with a girl who lived in India until she was 10 and then moved to England but still has an accent and is a complete.. well.. freshie, for want of a better word. (My best friend by the way...actually, there's 2 of them exactly like that!)
But anyways. See how many you score on that list.. I reckon it's not just about Indians, but any culture which is relatively similar to ours. The principles are all the same - overprotective parents, no sense of privacy with them, strict rules you HAVE to follow, otherwise you'd probably get disowned... ha ha. One of my mum's favourite lines is "Back in my day..." and whenever she uses that line, it's usually about how girls and boys "used to behave proper", and the length of skirts and tops nowadays compared to her golden years, and how we should still be behaving like her generation did.
Everything was so different then... The crazes, the standards, the morals, the fashion, the hair, the lifestyle, the music, the entertainment... I'm sure it was almost an "abnormal" sight to see an interracial couple walking down the street. I'm sure it was definitely "not done" for a lady on live black-and-white television to get her tits out on stage and pull a cord, dangling from the ceiling, to release water over her busty curvaceous body....
Instead, people were swooning over Bjorn Borg and George Clooney (that probably hasn't changed). People were watching Princess Diana marry Prince Charles in her fairytale wedding. Leonardo DiCaprio wasn't known for Titanic, but for his character on Growing Pains. Michael Jackson wasn't white. Ronald Reagan was president. The USSR was still the USSR. Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe were the Sienna Miller and Kate Moss of today, and of course, who could forget Elvis Presley...
And the fashion. Oh the fashion... incredible. Legwarmers, flares, shirts tucked in to long billowing trousers... skinny trousers, girls with cute short bobs, guys with extremely long hair, girls with big hair and skin tight leotards... It's pretty much all making a comeback now.
And thats just England... Just imagine how other cultures, other countries, across the world, how people have changed. How iconic figures have risen and fallen... How fashion has changed, or not changed. How the music has changed. How technology has changed... So much has changed.
Yet, if you look back at that list... I'm pretty sure almost all of those 41 items could have applied to Indians (obviously not the ones concerning advanced technology..) in the 60's.. in the 70's.. in the 80's. If not more.. rules were much more strict then. Society considered certain things that are considered normal today to be "improper" and not how "young ladies and young men should conduct themselves". I should know, since I've had so many lectures about this from my mum and my grandma... But hey. Thats just part of the charm of the stereotypical asian parent/grandparent.
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