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Being a Medical Student, I do get to learn about some pretty interesting things. Whilst studying Endocrinology today, for example, I was amazed to learn that the 'mechanisms' behind trust can be explained by.....a hormone?
Oxytocin is a hormone made in a region of our brain called the hypothalamus. It is mainly involved in pregnancy, causing contraction of the uterus and milk ejection from the mammary glands. However, it has also been labelled as "the hormone of love, generosity & well-being".
Why so? Well - Oxytocin is released at several points in our lives. The main one obviously being during labour and giving birth. Oxytocin release in the brain at this point in time helps to promote a parent-offspring bond in certain mammalian species.. Including humans.
Yes, it's incredible, but prepare yourself for an even bigger shock... Oxytocin is also a key factor in love & marriage. According to my Endocrinology notes (I kid you not!), when female mammals orgasm during intercourse, the brain releases Oxytocin - this is responsible for the 'binding connection' that women feel with their partner, and explains why women get so 'emotionally involved' when sex is involved, and also why men seem to be much more 'detached'. I guess you can't get too angry at men now, since who can blame them for their chemical make-up..?
But again, Oxytocin actually promotes monogamous bonds in certain mammalian species.. again, including humans!
Walter Anderson once said:
“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy”
But then, this got me to thinking - Trust is an extremely valuable entity. Once broken, it is very, very hard to rebuild again.
Imagine Trust to be a beautiful, delicate transparent glass vase. It can be seen by others to be without tarnish. To be perfect.
But then one day, the vase breaks.
Someone drops it accidentally, or even on purpose. It shatters into a hundred tiny pieces.
Instantly, the structure has been broken - the delicacy has been broken - the beauty has gone.
No matter how well you put the pieces back together, the cracks will always be visible. The beauty has gone, and the transparency ruined by the glue. The vase will probably never be nearly as strong as it was before breaking.
Trust is like the vase - in the sense that it is a very precious commodity between two people. Something that those two individuals alone share - something that is unique to every couple in this world. Honesty and Sincerity are the key to the strong structure of the 'vase'.
But when Honesty hides, and Sincerity shatters - what then?
Can the ultimate betrayal be forgiven by just a 'surge of Oxytocin'?
Can Science be the key to rebuilding a beautiful vase again? Can Science even be worthy of being a factor in overcoming the most gut-wrenching, anguishing pains of the heart?
Personally - I believe no amount of Science can ever explain how people can forgive and forget. Whether easily, or whether it takes several years to be able to move on from the hurt - this is definitely something that cannot be explained by hormone release.
I believe the character of a person explains how accommodating they can be. It takes real strength - real determination & drive - to be able to forgive a terrible wrong. Trust can take years and years to be rebuilt - as Friedrich Nietzsche once said: “I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you”.
Once you see through a person's lies, you instantly begin to think and rethink over everything that has been said to you up to this point - was any of it true..? How much of it was fabricated..?
And the most painful question of all... Why..?
Trust is the most precious thing that two people in a relationship can share.
Be careful with it.
Oxytocin is a hormone made in a region of our brain called the hypothalamus. It is mainly involved in pregnancy, causing contraction of the uterus and milk ejection from the mammary glands. However, it has also been labelled as "the hormone of love, generosity & well-being".
Why so? Well - Oxytocin is released at several points in our lives. The main one obviously being during labour and giving birth. Oxytocin release in the brain at this point in time helps to promote a parent-offspring bond in certain mammalian species.. Including humans.
Yes, it's incredible, but prepare yourself for an even bigger shock... Oxytocin is also a key factor in love & marriage. According to my Endocrinology notes (I kid you not!), when female mammals orgasm during intercourse, the brain releases Oxytocin - this is responsible for the 'binding connection' that women feel with their partner, and explains why women get so 'emotionally involved' when sex is involved, and also why men seem to be much more 'detached'. I guess you can't get too angry at men now, since who can blame them for their chemical make-up..?
But again, Oxytocin actually promotes monogamous bonds in certain mammalian species.. again, including humans!
How amazing is that?
That the intense bonds between child and parent, between husband and wife, between friend and friend - can all be explained by one little hormone. With a cute name too - just say Oxytocin out loud - doesn't it make you go aww?
“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy”
We have no idea how true that is!
But then, this got me to thinking - Trust is an extremely valuable entity. Once broken, it is very, very hard to rebuild again.
Imagine Trust to be a beautiful, delicate transparent glass vase. It can be seen by others to be without tarnish. To be perfect.
Someone drops it accidentally, or even on purpose. It shatters into a hundred tiny pieces.
Instantly, the structure has been broken - the delicacy has been broken - the beauty has gone.
No matter how well you put the pieces back together, the cracks will always be visible. The beauty has gone, and the transparency ruined by the glue. The vase will probably never be nearly as strong as it was before breaking.
Trust is like the vase - in the sense that it is a very precious commodity between two people. Something that those two individuals alone share - something that is unique to every couple in this world. Honesty and Sincerity are the key to the strong structure of the 'vase'.
But when Honesty hides, and Sincerity shatters - what then?
Can the ultimate betrayal be forgiven by just a 'surge of Oxytocin'?
Can Science be the key to rebuilding a beautiful vase again? Can Science even be worthy of being a factor in overcoming the most gut-wrenching, anguishing pains of the heart?
Personally - I believe no amount of Science can ever explain how people can forgive and forget. Whether easily, or whether it takes several years to be able to move on from the hurt - this is definitely something that cannot be explained by hormone release.
I believe the character of a person explains how accommodating they can be. It takes real strength - real determination & drive - to be able to forgive a terrible wrong. Trust can take years and years to be rebuilt - as Friedrich Nietzsche once said: “I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you”.
Once you see through a person's lies, you instantly begin to think and rethink over everything that has been said to you up to this point - was any of it true..? How much of it was fabricated..?
And the most painful question of all... Why..?
Trust is the most precious thing that two people in a relationship can share.
Be careful with it.
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